KNOB OF THE WEEK

This week  MvG made this statement : "I'm stronger than all the others mental wise. Of course I'm going to win!". He then proceeded to to show he as not as mentally strong as Dobey after Dobey made it 2-2 in sets

Another of his retarded claims was ''I'm going to smash them all!" . When you make statements like this and then fail to back up your mouth it serves to make you look a complete knob. I was delighted to see him lose but especially after his mouthy claims.

He was not the only overweight cunt to make a ludicrous claim as the scouser Bunting said this week "I can win titles no doubt about it. I think it's the best I've ever played even when I won the Lakeside,"So when Bunting who is playing better than he did in the BDO  lost to the German jobber Spacehopper the same Schindler who only won a solitary leg against Gerwyn Price if served to make him look a knob. I did love the excuses the mushrooms tried use to gloss over this.

WDF WORLD CUP

I know fuckall about this only than I saw some tweet how Berry van Peer won some gold medal. Has there ever been a more stupid comp and absolute waste of money ? I was told the host nation pays for this insignificant nonsense, and surely the Danish darts crowd could find a better use with their cash, or maybe run some big open with a proper prize fund that would get more media attention for the WDF. Like it or not when people think of World Cup darts, they think about the PDC and their non ranking comp. Even though I knew this was on, and consider myself a darts fan who will watch the Yank CDC, Modus, a bit of Seniors shit, even I could not give two flying fucks about this, so why should anyone else ?

WORLD GRAND PRIX REPORT

Dirk who reached the final of the Grand Prix 4 years ago has now lost first round for the last 3 years. After winning the first set 3 nil, he then lost 6 of the last 7 legs and went to absolute shit. Some of his doubles were atrocious. This is why he has never won a "Premier Event".

Portuguese Winstanley took the first set against Ando against the darts playing superbly with a 102 average. Ando then broke early in set 2 and took the set against the darts. The final set went to a last leg decider and Ando hit a cucial maximum to take the win in an absolute belter of a game. Jose lost with an average of 95.17. There would be many who won with an average lower.

Wade took the first set against Ratajski, the highlight being a 132 checkout. The polak took the second set and despite leading 2-0 in the third Wade completely shat the bed. It was the third game in a row where the player who took the first set went on and lost the match. Watch Wade plummet down the rankings now, as he defends a huge wedge at the slam an event he has not even qualified for yet.

Schindler came from 2 legs down to take the first set against a miserable sour faced Barney.The dour Dutchman took the second but the little German  saw off the most miserable cunt in darts, and that includes Gurney. Good riddance to the cunt and we would be spared Mardle rimming him to the hilt.

I don't know who has the worse stutter, Aspinall throwing or Paul Hogan speaking. Bunting took the first set and did not surprise me as I expected him to win the match. I had the audio off as I could not stand to hear how Asp was "a fighter". Asp led 2-0 in the second set and was lucky to win it after Bunting failed to hit an opening double in a few visits in the set decider. In set 3 in the final deciding leg, "the fighter" did a James Wade and could not get off in a few visits and paid the ultimate price.

Price and Noppert had 4 breaks of throw in the first set with Noppert missing a set dart for a 3-1 set win but Price took out 284 in six darts to break and held with ease for the first set. Noppert would not win another leg as Price romped the next set for a 2 zip win in sets.

Bellyboy came out firing and took the first set in blistering fashion, but all I could focus on was the absolute fucking state of the hairdo'nt on Rydz. Does the cunt own a mirror or have any friends to tell him how retarded he looks. Wygz did win a leg but Bellyboy wrapped it up with ease 2-0 in sets.

Cross won the first set against Gilding who was uttershit, but Cross had the darts in the set. Right away in set 2 Selwyn Froggatt missed ten darts to get away and Cross broke, but Selwyn broke back with a 142 checkout and even got 6 set darts, and leveled the game taking the set 3-1. In the final set the first 4 legs went with throw and Cross had the throw for a rare win for him in the slam but he missed 3 match darts, and gilding took out 68 for the win.
 
Cullen took on De Decker and the first set went all 5 legs with Cullen winning the set against the darts. Despite and an early break by De Decker, Cullen broke twice and romped home hitting 2 maximums in the final leg against the darts to win the match.

The in form player Chizzy took on Luke Woodlouse and lost the first set easily to Woodlouse and comms acted shocked that a player with a history of choking in "premier events" could go a set down. Chizzy at 2-1 up in legs missed 3 set darts, and Woodlouse broke and had the darts for the win which he wrapped up. Was anyone surprised the serial tv choker bombed ?

The Hector Cake lookalike and absolute cabbage Damon Heta took on the scruffy crusty looking window cleaner and proven cheat Ryan Searle. In the first set Searle was 100% on starting doubles, and in the 5th leg of the set, he opened with a 160, but hit scores of 20 odd and 41, and it cost him the set. Searle then took the second set 3-0. The final set went to a last leg decider, and if Heta had won it it, he would have won the game despite winning less legs, but thankfully Searle put in a fine leg and took the win. The Aussie dickhead and full blown mongoloid thinks dressing up and dancing like a down syndrome cunt on ecstasy will get him in the PL. He has the charisma of a plate of piss who makes Wayne Jones look entertaining. Someone needs to remind the inbred fuck that losing first round in TV comps won't get him anywhere near the PL unless he buys a ticket as a fan.

Another annoying prick who thinks dancing like a full blown spaz makes him entertaining was next as Babs the twink took on Dobey with the charisma of a cardboard cut out. I wanted Dobey to win to keep Babs downward trajectory on course. Dobey at 2 legs up and throwing for the set threw a bad leg and it went to a last leg decider for the set and Dobey threw a solid leg for the set. Dobey then went 2 legs up and a leg from the win but Babs held and broke and he threw to level the match but happily Dobey broke and out went another annoying dancing fuckwit.

Up next was an Englishman in his 50s dressed like an idiot who only became Scottish when it suited him and play for Scotland in the PDC, He took on yet another player who is hyped but has never come close to winning any form of Premier Event, As poor as Krusty was, he still won the first set with ease against Clemens.

Then we got hunchback MvG against Rock, a player like so many recently hyped to the hilt. We are told he, Dirk, Chizzy, Humphies etc are bound to win a major. He has potential, they all do but almost all lack the testicular fortitude to achieve that goal. Rock lost the first set 3-1 with a 77 average, which was not surprising considering his form of late. When the likes of Smudger, Gilding etc can win a TV title. then that says more about those who can't, and in an era where the game have never been so open. Its not like peak Taylor was around scooping up almost everything leaving the crumbs for the others to scavenge upon. MvG and rice far from their best, Wright and Wades best years behind them, Bellyboy vastly over rated, there has never been a better time for first time winners. Rock averaged even less in the second set and out he went. All night comms hyped this shit as the "main event". Stevie Wonder could have seen this would have been a one sided quick match unworthy of the ridiculous hype to it.

Then it was Smudger and the two legged pit pony. Being tied to a chair and having my eye lids super glued open forced to be watching Wez Newton doing a Marcel Marceau impression to the sound track of Coldplay  would be more entertaining that watching that so thought only apt I went for a shit. Smudger and Clayton seem like 2 good lads and could watch either against someone else, but 2 together, fuck that. One for the masochists.
By the time I got back with a mug of tea in hand Smudger was 2-1 up in the second set and throwing for the win.Clayton broke and I thought it would go the distance, but Smudger won it with a 130 checkout. Out went Clayton who was defending  whopping 110k.

When I wanted the miserable Gurney to beat Luke Scumphries you might realize how much I dislike the odious cunt.For a cunt that never won a Premier Event his levels of arrogance and entitlement are off the scale. Scumphries took the set and my bed never appeared more enticing, and turned it off and went to bed and found out the following morning the odious cunt won 2-0.

SECOND ROUND

Ando took on Gilding and even though this went to a fifth set, it was far from a classic, was one for the purists til the last set. In the final set Ando had the darts and Gilding broke, but then missed 6 darts to go 2 legs up and a leg from victory, but Gilding broke again and threw for the win but missed 2 match darts, but got another chance and claimed the unexpected win. Gilding was now up to world #20 moving above Ando.

The little German spacehopper Schindler threw utter dogshit and lost the first set in rapid time to Bunting. Schindler then woke up and took the next 2 sets in style, the highlight being a 160 checkout to break in set 2. Bunting missed a set dart in the fourth set for a 3-0 leg win, and missed a set dart in the fourth leg, and Schindler threw for the win. With Schindler waiting on double 6 for the win, bunting took out 70 and in to a final set.Schindler then broke and held to go 2 legs up in the final set, Bunting held, and Schindler was again throwing for the win and saw it out.
Bunting claimed in an interview prior to the game that he was playing the best darts of his career, which included Lakeshite, yet not good enough to beat a German jobber.

Price took the first set against Ratajski in a tight set that went all five legs. The Pole broke Price and the second set went to a fifth leg and Price hit a huge 150 to leave tops and came back and went 2 sets up. The Pole took the 3rd set to a fifth leg yet again, But Price missed half a dozen darts to get off, and could still afford 2 missed match darts and came back and won the match 3-0.

When Bellyboy finally won the worlds after a decade of hype we were told that "now the monkey is off his back" and we would see the best of him, He has done fuck all since. If anything he has gone backwards, despite him making quick work of Dolan.

The battle of the 2 cunts called Luke ended 3-0 to Scumphries but each set went 3-2. Peter Wright and the scruffy window cleaner went 1-1 in sets then Searle missed 6 set darts and went 2-1 down, and Searle was done after that. MvG missed the bull for a 9 darter twice in the first set against Dobey I believe as I could not be arsed watching, and then proceeded to job to Dobey. When I saw the result was delighted. Saw that Smudger was 2 legs up in the 4th set and was looking to level the game with Cullen, but Cullen won 3 legs on the trot and came out on top for a 3-1 win.

QUARTER FINALS
In the first game Price wrapped up the first set against Schindler with ease, and rattled through the sets. Schindler won just a single leg. Gilding won the first leg of the game against Bellboy, it would be his only leg in the first 2 sets. The third set was more competitive as Bellyboy won the match 3-0. So far it was a grim session of darts.
Wright with the aid of a break took the first set against Scumphries and went 2 sets up on his throw. Scumpries did get a set back  and in the fourth set right missed 3 match darts and Scumphries broke and took the set, and had the darts in the final set and it went to a last leg decider which Scumphries won. To be fair after the missed match darts by Wright, Scumphries was the better player.
Chris Dobey did not start well was a set down and was the fifth leg of the match before he got a leg but he then wok up and with a 12 darter took the second set against the darts, and held to lead 2-1 in sets. Cullen held and then we got a last set decider. In leg 3 Cullen broke and then threw for the win and took out 121 on the bull for the win.

My order of preference for the title, Price, Cullen, Bellyboy, and Scumphries,


MODUS

Watched none of this weeks action, why would I with the PDC being on, but spotted this brain surgeon on twitter. No doubt a degenerate gambler upset he lost oney he could not afford to lose



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